When People Twist Faith to Control You
Getting attacked for making a decision to protect your peace, set limits, or prioritize your health feels wrong. 🥴🥴 Especially when you ALWAYS try to do what’s right and treat others the way you wanna be treated. 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Let this scene play out in your imagination:
You didn’t fuss anybody out.
You didn’t do anything wild or disrespectful.
You just created space.
Or said no.
Or didn’t respond.
And suddenly, you’re getting Bible verses in a text — to make you feel bad or try to guilt you into doing what they want.
Maybe they even announce they’re praying for you—your ‘rebellious heart.’
In short, you’re accused of dishonoring God — because you set some limits — and they’re trying to ‘use God’ to justify or affirm themselves.
That’s not conviction — If you’re wondering what is, read this.
That’s spiritual guilt.
And that’s why it feels wrong.
Let’s talk about it.
What is Spiritual Guilt?
Spiritual guilt is when someone uses God, the Bible, or ‘faith talk’ to intentionally make you feel bad, obligated, or ashamed for NOT thinking like them.
Get this—especially when you’re NOT actually doing anything wrong.
It’s emotional manipulation, dressed up in religious language.
Sometimes, it’s even packaged as ‘righteous instruction’ to disguise the manipulation. Like they slap a spiritual bow on what they said—trying to make it look like God co-signed it—to create a false sense of spiritual superiority.
It sounds holy, but it’s not healing.
It feels like love, but it comes with strings.
And it usually shows up when someone doesn’t like your boundaries—but still wants access to your life, your energy, and your decisions.
Sometimes manipulation loves to disguise itself as care and concern too.
Here’s the truth about spiritual guilt . . .
Spiritual guilt isn’t conviction from God.
It’s pressure from people.
And there’s a big difference.
A Real-Life Example
Someone set some personal space between them and a family member.
They weren’t mean. They didn’t make a big scene. They just needed space.
But instead of accepting that choice, the family member fired off with some religious texts . . .
Spiritual Guilt Trip #1. Praying and praising God for your best.
🤔 Thought: If they sincerely are praying and praising God for your best, do they need to tell you? Should they make an announcement or quietly pray in secret?
In my opinion—It does NOT need a public announcement or spotlight, if it’s really about prayer, love or care (aka taking a moment to esteem another person above yourself, meditate on Philippians 2:13).
3 But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. Matthew 6:3–4 (NLT)
Spiritual Guilt Trip #2. I’m praying you come to your senses.
🤔 Thought: Should they really be telling you this? Or should they be going into their secret place and praying God’s will for both of your lives?
In my opinion — spiritually inspired acts don’t need an audience.
“When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. Matthew 6:5 (NLT)
Spiritual Guilt Trip #3. Don’t forget—God says honor your parents.
🤔 Thought: If they’re reading the same Bible you are, did they miss the part that says fathers, don’t exasperate your children?
In my opinion—Setting clear limits isn’t dishonor. Manipulation is.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (NLT)
Let’s be honest.
None of these messages were really about God.
They were about control.
And here’s something else to remember . . .
In my opinion, people who use spiritual guilt aren’t always responding to reality. They’re reacting to the version of reality they want to create—or control. 😮💨
And when you don’t play along?
They slap spiritual language on it to make you look like the villain.
Because if they can’t control your choices, maybe they can control how you feel about making them. ☝️ Read that again.
You know what else?
Love doesn’t manipulate—and faith is a choice.
Why It’s SO Dangerous
Spiritual guilt can:
- Keep people stuck in toxic relationships
- Create confusion about what God is actually saying
- Lead to spiritual burnout, shame, and mistrust
- Make you question your own faith and discernment
Have you ever experienced spiritual guilt?
Maybe it sounded like ‘touch not my anointed,’ ‘you’re out of order,’ or something else . . . 👀
Feel free to drop the story or example in my comments—I wanna hear from you.
What To Do About It
Here’s what I want you to remember:
✅ Conviction brings clarity. Spiritual guilt brings confusion.
✅ God doesn’t manipulate. He leads. He convicts. He comforts.
✅ Boundaries and limits can be liberating. They’re wisdom.
✅ If someone’s words feel like pressure—ask: Is this God—or is this guilt?
✅ And remember: You don’t owe access to someone who refuses to respect your no, even if they use God’s name to demand their way.
Declare This Over Yourself
I release the guilt that doesn’t belong to me.
I protect the peace God gave me.
And I refuse to let manipulation wear a holy mask in my life.
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👋🏽 Hi, I’m LOLA ⸻ the creator of offbeat life advice brand, The Smoking Prophet, owner of a growing content agency, and cultivator of life (family first)!
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