Don’t Miss Out On Marriage
Here’s a truth that stings—some people miss out on love because they focus on looks too much.
Seriously, some people miss out on meaningful relationships and marriage because they’re too focused on looks.
It’s brutal, but true. Think about it . . .
Looks often matter more than who somebody really is.
☝🏽 And many people get stuck on the surface (initial attraction) forgetting that attraction can grow.
Honestly, social media doesn’t help.
Mainly because social media pushes us to prioritize the surface—a perfect smile, a toned body, and top-tier everything—OVER heart and character.
But you can be different.
Let me share my story—how I ended up marrying a man who wasn’t ‘my type.’
Spoiler alert: He turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
The Man Who Wasn’t ‘My Type’
I married a man who didn’t look like my type.
Dante and I have been married for years now, but when I first saw him, it wasn’t love at first sight.
We met in an elevator. He was tall, and that’s about all I noticed. We exchanged polite smiles and went our separate ways.
Dante is attractive, but he’s a stark contrast to the type of guy I thought I’d be with.
Yet, here we are…he’s easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Let me tell you why. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Actions That Speak Louder
At the end of last year, Dante went on a roll fixing everything around our house:
🚰 He unclogged a sink + found a battery in the pipe (don’t ask).
😩 When a faucet broke, he installed a brand-new one.
🪚 I noticed a soft spot on the floor, and he fixed that ASAP.
On top of all that, he paid off some taxes—early.
🥶 Oh, and did I mention our heat stopped working? Dante made sure it was fixed within hours. We didn’t even have to spend a whole day without warmth.
But Dante’s actions go beyond fixing things around the house. He’s not just handy—he’s dependable, hardworking, and loves me in ways that make life easier. He leads, he provides, and he has this confident strength that amazes me.
Honestly, I can’t pinpoint a single moment when I realized he was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made because there are SO many reasons why.
A Leader and a Provider
From the start, I knew Dante was a leader. Watching him pour into our family every day is proof. He’s always looking ahead and taking care of us.
I love how he provides for us—in every way.
Not long ago, the opportunity to pay off Dante’s car came up unexpectedly. It was one of those moments where most people might panic or scramble for a solution.
I was ready to spring into action!
But before I could even start brainstorming, Dante calmly told me his plan: ‘I’m gonna pay it off tomorrow.’
That stopped me in my tracks.
Turns out, my husband was quietly saving—without fanfare or fuss—for a moment like this.
I didn’t have to worry.
I didn’t have to stress.
I didn’t have to figure it out.
Dante had it covered.
That moment wasn’t just about money—it was about responsibility and vision.
My husband is forward-thinking AND knowing he’s always thinking ahead gives me a sense of security I didn’t even realize I needed.
Dante’s presence helps me rest in my femininity, for real.
Someone asked what inspired me to start gardening and growing my own food.
Without hesitation, I said: I got married.
Our marriage has a way of drawing this nurturing nature out of me.
And here’s the wild part: I almost didn’t marry him.
How My Marriage Almost Didn’t Happen
Here’s how I almost missed out on marrying Dante.
Months after our elevator encounter, we crossed paths again. This time, Dante noticed me during an emotional moment . . . ⬇️⬇️⬇️
I teared up while sharing a personal story at an event.
Two FBI agents were at our job talking about human trafficking and financial crimes. I shared an emotional story to thank the agents and our leaders — 🥹 then cried a little (yep, embarrassing).
But that moment caught Dante’s attention, and he wanted to know more about me.
UNCOMMON WISDOM: Sometimes the thing you said that made you feel insecure — is the same thing that causes you to stand out and be remembered. I pray you stop being embarrassed about things that make you special…things that make you human…things that make you relatable.
Weeks later (maybe even longer), we walked right into each other.
Dante had just been promoted. I was SO happy for him. We exchanged names and talked throughout the day in a chat.
Before the day ended, Dante asked for my number.
I knew he would. I was just waiting for him to ask.
But there wasn’t much of a spark after that first conversation.
Dante seemed focused on training for his new job (but I didn’t know this for sure).
So, I politely closed the door on the idea of us.
Several weeks went by…
Until one night, when Dante randomly called me.
It wasn’t a big deal—we were friendly enough—so I answered.
We talked for hours. Then he called the next week. And again. And more after that.
Those late-night conversations turned into something deeper.
Somewhere along the way, Dante asked me out on a date.
He picked a very special place for our first outing. We started hanging out and having serious conversations about what we wanted our futures to look like.
But even then, I wasn’t sold.
And truthfully, neither was he.
We actually mutually decided to stop entertaining the idea of us at one point.
But like magnets, we kept coming back together.
A Dream That Changed Everything
Even though I knew Dante could be someone I married, I wasn’t 100% sure—until I had a dream that changed everything.
In the dream, Dante sent me a text that caught my attention.
When I woke up, I hit him up and told him about it.
That dream felt like a green light from God.
Although, I felt I had God’s green light, it wasn’t pink skies and butterflies from there because I was scared.
Do you know how hard it is to admit you’re scared? Sheesh.
Confessing A Toxic Trait
Well, I did more than admit it to myself…
I confessed to Dante that I was terrified of the seriousness of our relationship.
When I finally admitted my fear to Dante, he didn’t back away. Instead, he reassured me, refused to back off, and fought for our future.
That day, we made a choice:
We chose to love each other without fear.
For me, loving without fear meant not letting past hurts control my present or trick me out of a beautiful future.
Here’s My Point
Dante wasn’t the man I thought I’d fall for, but he’s the man I thank God for, for real.
His looks weren’t what first drew me in—his heart was.
Every time I drew back, Dante moved closer, showing me that fear wouldn’t rule or ruin us.
Dante’s heart proves that this man, who didn’t look like my type, is my type.
My point? Don’t let your ‘type’ make you miss out on love and marriage.
So, I challenge you to consider this:
1️⃣ Are you passing up on someone incredible because they don’t fit your idea of ‘the perfect type?’
2️⃣ Are you focused on filters and hype over heart? Remember, filters can make anyone look good, but will life with them be good?
⚠️⚠️⚠️ And for anyone thinking, ‘I can’t be with someone I’m not attracted to…’
I’ve found that attraction can grow, especially when you take time to look into someone’s heart.
Before I go, did you enjoy this?
Please share it with someone else who could use the reminder!
👋🏽 Hi, I’m LOLA ⸻ the creator of offbeat life advice brand, The Smoking Prophet, owner of a growing content agency, and cultivator of life (family first)!
Most days, you can find me at my desk, in my garden, or on the go. My super-social family keeps me on my toes!
Follow The Smoking Prophet to ignite your creativity, grow spiritually, and blaze your own trail online!
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