PODCAST: Live Life Influenced by Love—Not Trauma

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Gut-feelings do lie

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Sometimes when people say they don’t like something it’s their experience talking and not a genuine expression of who they are. 

I told my husband I didn’t like surprises around two years ago. A few days ago, I realized I do like surprises. 

What changed? Nothing and everything at the same time.

While cleaning at home, I had an aha moment and realized I let some experiences shape how I lived life. I also allowed these experiences to limit my husband’s expressions of love towards me. 

And I revealed all of this to Dante — for the first time ever on episode #109 of The Smoking Prophet Podcast.

Tap the media player below to listen now or keep reading to find out what happened!

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Bad experiences (big or small) can create trauma

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My experiences with surprises in the past were lousy. And it made me feel like I hated them. When the reality was, I love being surprised with things I enjoy but not with things I don’t. (Who doesn’t, right?)

I had lots of bad surprises in my past, and I hated each of them.

I hated having to smile begrudgingly and give a nod of approval.

I hated having to say thank you for something I did not like.

I hated feeling obligated to use the gift at least once. 

Quickly resentment brewed in me as I realized this person gave me a gift they liked. This gift wasn’t for me. It was for them. I hate a self-serving gift—a gift given with the giver in mind and not the recipient. 

So I shut all the gifts and surprises down. I let people know upfront too. 

I do not like surprises. 

Please don’t try it. 

Let me know what you’re trying to do, and I’ll help you. 

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Don’t resist what can be because of what was

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My experience triggered a response that made me resist possibility. Instead of giving people space to surprise me — I shut it all down. 

And when I shut it down, I also shut down new chances at new experiences and new memories in place of the lousy ones.

But worse of all, I stopped my husband from loving me in the way he wanted. I stopped him from being him. (He loves to surprise me) Yikes. 

Now that I’ve realized that, I’m changing. I’m shifting my attitude and accepting surprises! I’m not allowing those bad experiences to stop me from experiencing the love my husband wants to show me!

Today I want you to look inwardly.

When you feel you don’t like something, is it true, or is it a bad experience shaping things for you?

Are your past experiences stopping you from experiencing something new?

If you find they are, change your mind—today. 

Let it go so that you don’t limit the love and affection that people are trying to give you.

Here’s a prayer to get you started:

Lord, let me live a life influenced by love and not trauma.

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