Learning acceptance

Influence and acceptance

When I approached the later part of my teenage years, I met my first love through a group of new people I’d connected with. Weekly, a gang of us would hang out mostly at a park near my house. Some of them had attended school with me, and some had not, but none of this hindered our budding relationships.

Before linking up with this strait, gay, and sexually fluid band of misfits, I’d witnessed homosexuality but never had any genuine interest in it, expressed any natural curiosity for it, or seriously entertained the idea. That was up until the summer I met them, and I met her – my first love and eventually my first serious relationship.

Throughout my life, I’d dealt with my share of rejection. While I fit in with most cliques, I never really fit in enough. I knew everyone and could easily mingle with different social groups, but I still didn’t have anyone I really identified with. I was pegged too smart by some and often “dumbed myself down” to be part of the in-crowd. My skin color was too dark for one group and too light for others. I didn’t speak as the majority did, but I didn’t talk enough like everyone else either.

However, when I met this group things were different, they didn’t make me feel any pressure to fit in, they didn’t make me feel awkward, and most importantly they didn’t make me feel like an outsider. This group, having been rejected like myself, accepted me, and in their acceptance, I experienced a form of love. Eventually, this opened the door for their influence into my life and my destiny.

Although this happened eons ago, recently it flashed before me, drawing my attention to the undeniable link between acceptance and influence. I concluded, it’s easy to influence those you accept, and it’s hard to affect those you don’t. This brought me to consider how much impact people would have on those they merely chose to accept?

It’s easy to influence those you accept, and it’s hard to affect those you don’t.

Acceptance builds trust

One day while live-streaming with my husband Dante, he told me something he hadn’t shared with me before. Dante admitted that part of the reason he trusted me with his heart and so quickly is because he felt he could be himself around me. Dante felt that I accepted him, which I did and continue to do.

My acceptance of him and his acceptance of me is the basis of our relationship. Moreover, our acceptance of one another not only primes and sustains our relationship, but makes us want to make things better for the future.

Defining acceptance

Acceptance is receiving others warmly as part of the human family and not through the divides of race, religion, age, sexuality, or anything else.

Acceptance is not agreement, and it doesn’t mean you agree with everything someone does. Think about this – how many of your friends have said or done something you didn’t agree with, but you’re still friends?

Acceptance is honoring the life of another – their journey, their process, and their path to evolution.

Acceptance doesn’t force others to change, but acceptance creates a safe place for people to be changed as needed.

God likes acceptance too

Acceptance is receiving others as they are – seeing them in the same manner that God sees them. And God doesn’t see any of us for what we are, but what He created us to be and He relentlessly fights so we can see ourselves as He does.

God’s relentless pursuit of us is not in vain either. He does all of this in the hopes that we’ll see Him, accept Him, love Him back, and live out the individual plans He has for our lives.

And yeah, sometimes God’s plans seem impossible or aloof, but accepting God does something amazing. Accepting God aligns us with His love, His heart, and ultimately His path.

Still, it all starts at learning acceptance.

Featured Photo by Pixel Talkies on Unsplash