THE MORE PERFECT I TRY TO BE, THE MORE I REALIZE HOW MUCH I AM NOT
To never make a mistake is truly divine. But we’re human, so to error is a part of our nature.
Still, for some,” being perfect” guides our day and influences our mood. When we hit the mark, we feel great, and when we miss the mark, we feel like crap. We typically critique ourselves more harshly than any other person and harder than the world could ever know. Who is this we, you ask? It’s a perfectionist.
It’s no secret that I have struggled with perfectionism, and I sometimes still do. In my experience, I’ve learned and learned the hard way I might add that being a perfectionist has its costs and benefits.
THE PROS + CONS OF PERFECTIONISM IN MY LIFE (MAYBE YOURS TOO)
| PRO | CONS |
| The perfectionist has a strong sense of responsibility. | A perfectionist will take ownership of problems when they shouldn’t. |
| Perfectionists are incredibly determined. | A perfectionist will overwork themselves + experience routine burnouts. |
| Perfectionists make responsible leaders. | Their desire for perfection can make them come off as controlling. |
| A perfectionist is pretty good at identifying responsible people. | Perfectionists sometimes lack patience for people that don’t meet their expectations. |
| Perfectionists are pretty well versed in many things. | A perfectionist wastes time doing what others could do for them if they trusted them. |
| When a perfectionist is involved, the project is usually successful. | Sometimes a perfectionist will get stuck in a loop of procrastination or failure by default, aka failure to launch. |
| A perfectionist is typically proactive, a self-starter, and attentive to detail. | Perfectionists need to be perfect leads to indecisiveness and adds to their overly critical nature. |
IS IT BAD TO BE A PERFECTIONIST?
So, you’re probably thinking, well, like anything else in life, there is some good and some bad for the perfectionist. And for me, I have to say yes, there is good, but also that it’s more bad than good.
As a perfectionist, I risked burnout by multitasking, overworking myself, and taking on responsibilities that belonged to others. Perfectionism brought me to push the limits of my health many times. I’ve stayed up all night to meet deadlines or to perfect a project to the praise of people. I’ve worked to the point of my vision blurring and my hands aching. And achieving my own inner goals was the reason for most of this nonsense.
I’ve beat myself up harder than anyone else, and I’ve even done this to others. And although I’ve pushed people and myself, to perform at levels, we didn’t know were possible, in the end, I realize it isn’t worth it.
Perfection is impossible. And for me, the good in perfectionism is not greater than the cons.
Yep, I just thought about it again, and my response is still, nope. Pursuing perfection in my work will never be worth it. It will always place me smack dead in an endless loop of work, burnout, achievement, and failure.
FINDING HARMONY AS A PERFECTIONIST
Choosing excellence over perfection is my happy place. It’s what helps me achieve harmony in my work and with my life.
Excellence lets me keep the pros of perfectionism while nixing the cons. So, instead of pursuing perfection, I go after excellence. I’m still faithful to my core values. I act responsibly, use integrity, and set high standards. The main difference now is that I don’t expect to meet my goals at once or immediately. I give myself time to learn, grow, and make mistakes.
It’s not always easy to accept this when I want so much from life, but it’s possible. And here are some confessions that help me feel okay with my choice!
MY CONFESSIONS
- My work does not determine my worth.
- It’s okay to not be good at everything.
- Relax – don’t be so intense.
- If I want to accomplish anything, I can’t do everything.
- Perfect or not, I will complete my projects.
- Feedback is not rejection.
- It is better to try than to wonder.
- I am brave enough to be bad at something new.
- Everyone will not like me, and that’s okay.
- Failure does not make me a failure.
- Honesty is not a weakness.
- I am enough.
- It can wait.
- I don’t have to be perfect. I need to be me.
- I will be gentle with myself and my growth.
- It may not seem like it, but things will work out.
So, there you have it! I hope my confession and confessions can help you. Also, feel free to leave a comment below with your experience, personal confessions, or feedback!
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