From Pain to Progress: A Spiritual Guide to Releasing Bad Experiences with People

Releasing Bad Experiences with People

Have you ever had a bad experience that pierced your heart and stayed stuck in your head, making it hard to let go and move on? It’s natural to struggle with releasing painful experiences and bad days, but it is possible to heal and grow. You don’t have to suffer forever.

When we hold onto painful experiences, they influence every part of our lives—from our motives to our moves and, ultimately, our outcomes.

Think about it for a moment: how have bad experiences with people influenced your motives? Have they made you act out of fear, anger, or resentment?

How have they influenced your moves? Have they made you avoid certain situations, people, or opportunities that could benefit you?

How have they influenced your outcomes? Have they caused you to miss out on happiness, peace, and meaning?

These things have happened to me. Pain used to influence my motives, moves, and outcomes, but in the end, I learned that I didn’t need to be angry, bitter, or full of pain. I didn’t need to wait for an apology to move on, an explanation or closure to heal, or care if they left my messages on ‘read’ or ‘seen.’

A Cautionary Tale of Holding Painful Experiences

So that’s what this blog is all about. Healing and growing. Making peace and moving forward.

To illustrate my point, let me tell you about a warrior named Jephthah. Jephthah’s upbringing was not ideal. His half-brothers did not accept him and chased him away from home. Later, the elders asked Jephthah to return to protect their land, promising him a position as a Judge over everyone. Jephthah agreed and tried to negotiate with their attackers, but negotiations failed, and he went to war.

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Moving Forward with Confidence and Avoiding Setbacks

I always try to think a step ahead of my decisions by asking myself, ‘What happens next?’ Asking myself that one question helps me make decisions with confidence and keeps me from making choices that set me back.

I don’t know if Jephthah thought ahead of his NEXT decision, which caused this story to take a TRAGIC turn. Without thinking, Jephthah made a vow to God. He promised to sacrifice the first thing that walked out of his home when he returned victoriously from battle. Tragically it was his only child — his beloved daughter.

What was Jephthah thinking? Maybe his mind was clouded with thoughts of future power, acceptance, affirmation, and respect. We don’t know. But we do know that Jephthah’s story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of holding onto painful experiences and making impulsive decisions without thinking.

Tools for Healing and Growth After Painful Experiences With People

So, how can you release your pain and move on with your life? There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this because we all have our own journeys to run and pace to set.

But here are some tips to help you heal and move on:

📌 There is no shame in getting help — so consider talking with a therapist! A therapist can provide you with tools and resources to heal and grow.

📌 Make new, positive memories around things or events that hurt you. This can help you shift your focus from pain to something promising and pleasurable.

📌 Volunteer — helping others can be incredibly healing. It encourages you to practice empathy, compassion, and forgiveness. These skills can help you heal and grow.

📌 Engage in restorative practices to help you heal and grow. This can help you let go of negative thoughts, blaming, punishing, or seeking revenge on others.

📌 Honor the memories of what was. You don’t have to erase the past to heal, grow, or move on. You can also remember the people who were part of your life, even if some of the people are gone or not in touch with you anymore.

📌 Journal your experience or express yourself through art. What you write and create can help you and others heal, and turning your pain into something beautiful can be a powerful way to release negative emotions.

I hope these tips give you the courage to release the pain, curiously embrace the future, and make new memories around whatever hurt you.