Dating Younger Men

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REDEFINING MY DATING RULES

My husband is younger than me. I didn’t plan to meet or marry a man that was younger than me. My goal was quite the opposite. I wanted to marry someone my age or older, and if they were older, it couldn’t exceed ten years. I was particular.

But then, I kept meeting younger men. And over time, as reality distanced itself from my plan, I decided it best to redefine my dating rules, which I’m happy about! Because today, I’m married for almost two years to my younger man. He’s seriously amazing too. He loves me. He loves my children. He loves God. And my happiness is a total priority for him. *tears*

LISTEN TO MY MARRIAGE STORY

All of this makes me feel warm and fuzzy with thanks to God and my Dante. It also makes me think about the three things that helped me make this decision, which goes a little something like this.

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HOW GOOGLE, A CHURCH MOTHER, + CROWDSOURCING INFLUENCED MY DECISION

First, I looked at articles online. Much of what I read gave the usual pros and cons of the experienced or the informed. More specifically, I saw a lot of articles boasting in the young male libido (*rolls eyes*) and some advice for keeping a younger man. Then, there was one article that I connected with about a woman who married a man eight years her junior and why. You can read it here. 

Next, I asked a longtime friend of the family for advice. She is almost 100 years old and has an answer for everything. While alone with her, I brazenly asked what she thought about women dating younger men. She lovingly gave her disapproval, saying that generally, younger men appreciate the experience and security an older woman brings, but overall they don’t stay around. She also said if she ever dated an older man, it would be by no more than ten years.   

Last, I crowdsourced an answer by polling my Facebook friends. On my very public Facebook page, I asked: How do you feel about women dating younger men? How do you feel about men dating younger women? How much of an age difference would cause you even to consider this? I received a pretty mixed response, which you can read here. All in all, many agreed both sexes could comfortably date younger as long as the age gap was no more than five years. 

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THE ANSWER STILL DIDN’T COME EASY

Now, you would think with this information, I would have been closer to a concrete, black, and white answer. Not true! My search made me realize I was no closer to the answer than when I started.

Not even Google, the church mother, or my Facebook friends had the answer.

via GIPHY

You see, one question lead to another question, and one solution introduced another problem. Each response only led to more questions and more complexity until I noticed a common theme floating throughout each one.

There is no general answer. The general question of dating a younger man is too complex. So, instead of imposing limits in love and trying to figure out if dating younger is okay or not. I opted to pass that burden to God, the One in whom all blessings and answers flow! The One that from my experience gives responses that exceed my needs and desires! The One who always wants the best for me. And it worked out. I’m happily married to a younger man, and his age doesn’t impact our relationship. To think, He has so many amazing qualities that I would have overlooked and discounted had I only considered his age.

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Featured Photo by cottonbro from Pexels