THE PRESSURE TO KEEP UP
As spring approaches, the garden calls—and so does some pressure.
Seeing other gardeners post their progress makes me itch to kick my efforts into high gear. But I know better.
When I feel that pressure, here’s what I tell myself . . .
Good things take time—and chasing someone else’s season won’t ever grow my fruit!
👉 Sure, I could rush to plant seeds outside.
❌ But a surprise cold snap could wipe out those tender little sprouts.
👉 Yeah, I could rush to clean up old leaves and garden debris.
❌ But some of the debris protects the plant’s new growth—like my precious peonies—from harsh weather.
Here’s where it clicked for me…
Just because someone else is doing something, doesn’t mean I should do it.
You might think, ‘Well, if I follow someone on a similar path, I’ll get the same results.’
😵💫 Wrong.
➡️ Even in the same place or grow zone, no two gardens are identical.
➡️ Soil, sunlight, plant choices, and even your daily life all create different conditions.
Lesson noted?
Just like no two gardens are the same, no two life paths are identical either. And even if someone seems to have the same goals, their journey is different.
That’s why chasing someone else’s season doesn’t grow my fruit or yours.
That means what works for others might not work for me—or you.
SO, we’ve gotta grow at our own pace—in the right season for us.
That’s when it hit me:
Just like in the garden, timing in life can mean the difference between thriving or barely surviving. 😵💫😵💫
IT’S ALL ABOUT TIMING
Last summer, my garden taught me a lesson I’ll never forget, timing isn’t just important—it’s everything.
Everything as in a really big deal.
I started a new garden space, filled with fresh plants. Some thrived—like my showstopping Weeping Nootka Cypress (Pictured below).
This STORY is nearly unbelievable.
I saved for weeks to buy it, and I’ll never forget how it came home.
One day, my husband Dante said, let’s go get your tree—and off we went to my favorite nursery. I wandered to the perennials first, but Dante wasn’t having it. After a quick glance, he said, ‘I’m going to get your tree.’
Minutes later, I found him standing right in front of the tree—like he was holding our spot.
That’s when another shopper rounded the corner, eyeing it too.
👀The man said, ‘If you’re not getting it, I will.’
😎 But cool as ever, Dante calmly loaded it into our cart and said: ‘Oh, we’re getting it.’
At first, this day felt like just another shopping trip—until I realized it was about so much more than a tree.
It was about timing. ⏰🙏
Get this.
Turns out, the other shopper was on a mission too—his wife had been eyeing that exact tree for weeks.
I mean what are the odds? Two husbands, sent by two wives, and one tree—at the same place, at the same time. Well, my husband and I were there just a bit earlier. But I think you get what I mean.
That moment will always remind me—what’s meant for you won’t pass you by, if you’re ready when the moment comes.
No fuss. No fight.
BUT you’ve gotta be there, waiting, and ready when the time is right.
And when your spouse rushes you maybe—just maybe—it’s more about divine timing and less nagging.
Don’t tell my husband I said that. Ahahahahaha.
EVERY GARDEN (& LIFE) GETS GROWING PAINS
But NOT everything went smoothly last growing season.
🌧️ Heavy rains flooded parts of my new garden, forcing me to rescue waterlogged plants and move them to pots.
Some might be lost—but spring will tell.
To fix the flooding issue, we installed a French drain and enriched the soil with pine-bark.
@lolacabaya 🌱👩🏽🌾 BETTER SOIL = BETTER PLANTS! Made a solid garden purchase—pine bark fines & premium garden soil. 👏🏽 Here’s why? ⬇️⬇️ Pine bark fines = better drainage for my clay soil ☝🏽 And this soil mix has garden goodies like mushroom compost, manure, leaf compost & more. ✨✨ Plus the pine bark isn’t just for amending soil (aka improving soil)——it’s great in pots AND garden beds for plants that need well-draining soil (like Daphne & Conifers). COMMENT for reasons why too much water hurts your garden. 💜 #thesmokingprophet #thingsiwishiknewyesterday #ncgardening #winterflowers #springflowers #plantingconifers #ncgardens #hardlyfarmers ♬ original sound – Lola Cabaya
We also added new plants (YAY).
Like a Black Dragon Japanese Cedar (Pictured below).
This lovely Enchanted Forest Impish Elf Pieris (Pictured below).
We even added plants that thrive in wetter soil to the wet spots, like the Japanese Iris (Pictured below).
From there, we made a new garden path.
After that, we finally replanted a Ruby Falls Weeping Redbud.
Weeping plants remind me of my childhood.
My grandparents had this huge weeping willow that danced with the wind. It was truly one of my favorite places to play. Watching the branches sway—casting soft, dappled shade was enchanting.
So, I usually make a swift beeline straight in the direction of weeping plants—when I see them.
But that shopping trip, my husband picked out this Ruby Falls Weeping Redbud himself (Pictured below).
I wanted one with lighter colors, but my husband did his big one.
Because its deep ruby-purple leaves and cascading branches create this bold contrast against a sea of greens in our garden.
Now, it feels like a jewel tucked into the landscape—unexpected, eye-catching, and glorious.
But I made a mistake and planted it too low.
The summer was stormy and wet, leaving pools of water in my new garden.
The roots sat in water and started to struggle, making the tree sick. 😔
I felt responsible and just wanted it to thrive.
So, we worked on it:
🔫 Sprayed fungicide
🍂 Cleared fallen leaves and mulch trapping lingering sickness
🌳 And replanted it on higher ground
It was tough to dig the tree up and lift it higher because the clay soil was SO heavy.
But adding new soil and giving it a fresh start was the best thing to do.
All that work took months—not minutes, but eventually the work paid off and my garden flourished.
Want to see how all this effort looks in my garden?
See my progress here ⬇️⬇️⬇️
How to Build a Garden Path on a Budget – The Smoking Prophet
Lesson noted?
✔️ Just like every garden has growing pains, every life has them too.
✔️ Even when I make a mistake, there’s usually a way to recover.
✔️ And with the right care, effort, and timing, growth will come.
Still, that’s NOT the biggest lesson learned from my garden last year.
ROOTED AND UNBOTHERED
Uncommon wisdom 💎 💎 💎 It’s easy to feel pressured by what you see—but even more by what people say.
Last year, someone gave me unsolicited advice about my garden without knowing my vision. I let them talk, but I didn’t let their comments rush my decisions.
Still, those comments stung, and made me feel pressure.
I didn’t react, but I almost doubted my vision—then I reminded myself:
1️⃣ Growth takes time—like roots spreading deep before blooms appear. That means sometimes your best work happens beneath the surface before anyone sees it.
2️⃣ Progress isn’t always pretty—sometimes it’s messy, like muddy hands, dirty nails, and wilted leaves. That means sometimes the realest work happens in the messiest moments.
3️⃣ Seasons can’t be rushed—no matter how much we wish they could. That means stay rooted and unbothered in your season—even when it feels slow.
Here’s what I hope clicks for you…
The pressure to keep up with people or social media can pull you away from your path.
But the truth is: Chasing someone else’s season won’t grow your fruit.
YOU MAY LIKE THIS TOO ⬇️⬇️⬇️
HOLD FAST TO WHAT’S TRUE
A final reminder for you (and me):
✨ Practice patience. It’s a power move.
✨ Flow with God’s rhythm for your life.
✨ Trust that good things will come.
Because what God has for you—the dreams, the wins, the joy—is yours alone.
No rush, no rival.
And when the season’s right, your garden will bloom beyond measure.
Got any thoughts, ideas, or questions? ♡♡♡
Drop them in the comments!
👋🏽 Hi, I’m LOLA ⸻ the creator of offbeat life advice brand, The Smoking Prophet, owner of a growing content agency, and cultivator of life (family first)!
Most days, you can find me at my desk, in my garden, or on the go. My super-social family keeps me on my toes!
Follow The Smoking Prophet to ignite your creativity, grow spiritually, and blaze your own trail online!
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