When Prayer Seems to Make Things Worse
A few mornings ago, I prayed something simple—but powerful.
🙏🏼 Lord, help my family to surrender to You–to put You first.
🙏🏼 Give our family unity with one another and with YOU.
🙏🏼 Remove anything that would divide us. And please don’t let our hearts drift from You. Help us to seek You first–in Jesus’ name.
I meant every word.
I just didn’t expect the answer to show up the way it did.
Not a Vent—Just a Real Moment from a Real Marriage
Let me be clear: I’m not writing this to vent or throw my husband under the bus.
Because we both have off days—I mean moments we’re not in sync.
But . . .
My husband is ONE of the best choices I’ve ever made!!
Now, that we’re clear on that…
Let me tell you what happened!
Shortly after that prayer, I called my husband.
He’d left to drop our youngest off at school.
So, I get him on the phone to ask about concrete filler.
He said, ‘I forgot.’
When he got home, I reminded him that we’d talked about a few priority projects the day before.
One of those projects was patching up the cracks on a concrete porch. We planned to finish it Wednesday. That way it could fully dry before Friday–when we’d sand and stain it. He agreed.
Then he left again to take our oldest to school—and after that, drove straight to the accountant.
We hadn’t discussed that part. 🤯
When he got back, he still didn’t have the concrete filler.
And I’m thinking—What happened to the plan?
So, I said, ‘Let’s make a list before we do anything else.’
We both stopped what we were doing.
Sat together and he made the list.
Then, he stood up, and got to work—without discussing any of it with me.
And there I am left feeling frustrated.
Conflict Isn’t Always the Enemy—It’s A Clue
That frustrating moment between us doesn’t define our relationship—but it did show me something.
Something SMALL . . .
Something SNEAKY . . .
Something that needs to be EXPOSED . . .
It reminded me of a Bible verse.
Flip over to Song of Solomon 2:15. It says . . .
Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes. 🦊🚫🍇
That means something small can destroy the fruit of your labor.
🎉 The progress you’ve made
🎉 What’s finally started to grow
🎉 The wins you’ve waited for
🎉 The PAYOFF you get for staying committed
That means my prayer was NOT backfiring . . .
God was answering my prayer.
Quick Reminder! I asked Him to remove anything that would divide our family—and a little fox showed up.
That ‘little fox?’ 🦊🦊
It wasn’t a fight.
It wasn’t something horrific.
It was a quiet breakdown in communication.
A slow drift.
A missed moment to pause and realign.
A tiny tension that had the potential to steal the fruit of our unity, our progress, and our peace.
But here’s the good news:
God exposed it in love—not shame.
So, we could catch it early.
So, we could guard what matters.
So, we could protect what’s growing.
So, we could ALL deal with it together.
That’s why I say conflict isn’t ALWAYS the enemy–it’s a clue.
A sign, a signal that something deeper needs attention.
It’s a chance to grow up instead of giving up.
A call to come together—not fall apart.
But I didn’t draw that conclusion on my own. Ahahahaaha.
Remember, I was frustrated. So, here’s how I realized that…
When I Started Singing, God Started Speaking
In the middle of the tension, I worshipped because I didn’t know what else to do.
I went off by myself and worked on another project.
Then, I started singing, praising and God started speaking . . .
And right there, (almost instantly) I had a heart-check moment:
This tension was an answer to my prayer.
🌤️ That morning, I’d just asked God to remove anything that would divide our family.
And BOOM, He revealed what needed to be removed.
So, He could help me and my husband deal with it.
Hang in there. Sometimes progress looks like failing at first.
Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) says:
“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
That tells me that hiding from our mistakes and mess ups—what we’re unwilling to face—doesn’t help us.
And sometimes, what we need to face looks like conflict–confusion–or conversations we don’t want to have.
✅ But facing the truth…
✅ Letting go of things you need to leave alone…
✅ Repairing things you need to hold onto…
✅ Fighting for what’s worth fighting for…
That’s a key to getting compassion—from God and others.
Did Your Prayer Blow Up in Your Face?
Maybe you’re in a space like me–where you prayed for something and the opposite happened.
📌 You’ve prayed for peace, but all you feel is pressure.
📌 You’ve asked for direction, but ALL you see are detours.
📌 You’ve prayed for unity in a situation, but miscommunication keeps popping up..
Don’t panic.
What’s happening doesn’t mean your prayer is backfiring…
Look again, because…
➡️ What feels like friction could actually be freedom in progress.
➡️ What looks like nonsense could be the making of a new beginning.
➡️ What feels like tension could be that you’re teetering on the edge of a breakthrough.
And God might just be answering your prayer in a deeper way than you expected.
Well, that’s all for now.
I’ll leave you with a question to journal about . . .
What ‘little fox’ could God be showing you—not to shame you—but to help you protect what matters most?
Got any thoughts, ideas, or questions? ♡♡♡
Drop them in the comments! BYEEEEE.
👋🏽 Hi, I’m LOLA ⸻ the creator of offbeat life advice brand, The Smoking Prophet, owner of a growing content agency, and cultivator of life (family first)!
Most days, you can find me at my desk, in my garden, or on the go. My super-social family keeps me on my toes!
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